Short End of the Stick

My youngest son, TL, is a HANDFUL.  Ok, that’s putting it mildly.  His body is in constant movement and his mouth is forever moving.  He has a lot going on in his little mind and it just overwhelms his 4-year-old body.

But he is a sweet boy. He loves to play (not share, but play!) and loves to talk. He loves to be read to and he has a very active imagination…maybe too active.

You see, he also like to tell “stories” –fibs, lies, whoppers—whatever you want to label them.  It can be hard to sometimes tell what is true and what is part of his imagination.  His teachers, in particular, have had a hard time telling fact from fiction.

Here’s my favorite one:

Teacher: “I heard you’ve got some moves!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Teacher: “TL was dancing on the playground and when we asked him where he learned to dance like that he said his mom taught him.”

TL chimes in: “Yeah, mom, like this” and he starts to dance while shaking his booty in the air. 

If you know me, you know I have never danced this way.  No twerking for this girl.

Anyhow, he has been in the same class for almost 2 years and the teachers have finally begun to see that many of his outlandish stories are works of fiction.  That’s good—um, maybe not. 

He has become the “boy who cried wolf.”  Now, when I bring up a concern about something TL says happened in class I get the response, “well, I’m sure it didn’t happen like that, but I will keep an eye out.”

Ugh!!!  Look, my son tells great stories, but it is pretty easy for me to figure out when it is the truth: I ask questions.  Usually the fictional stories will end up involving aliens, cartoon characters, him driving a car…some kind of dead giveaway.  Yet, trained professionals think they can just dismiss something my son says another child said to him?  His story did not change when I asked him about and it did not change when my husband asked about it.

But, much of life and our relationships is built on trust and it can be hard to trust a really good liar. What do I do? I can’t make people trust him. The incident from above is not something worth pursuing unless it repeats, but I am still angry!  Why does he get the short end of the stick with something he can’t control?  We have been told that his imagination is so active that he sometimes has a hard time keeping it out of the “real” world.  We have been over all the highlights of why lying is wrong and he usually ends the discussion with, “what is lying, mommy?”  Cue palm hitting forehead.  

He doesn’t know he is doing something wrong.  He thinks he sharing a lovely tale he wove together. He doesn’t understand trust and truth.  He’s 4!!!  He’s autistic!!!  Give him a break not the shaft! Ugh!