To Perservere

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4)

Sometimes, I feel so impatient.

In June, we received the happy news that we might be able to wean our daughter off the pump she wears. Her last heart catheterization looked like she never had PH! They want to repeat the catheterization in December or January and, if all looks well, transition her to an oral medicine.

All of this is great news, but I want it now! I live in the world of convenience stores, fast food, and instant oatmeal. I grew up force fed the expectation that “I can get what I want when I want it.”

Not true.

Patience is more than a virtue held by picturesque Disney princesses; it is a trait parents must possess. That newborn does not turn into a toddler overnight (though, looking back, it might feel that way). There is a slow process of learning new skills, new words, and new boundaries. Then comes the testing of said skills, words, and boundaries! Oh, joy!

The problem for me is that I just want to be done:

• Done poking my child. 
• Done making medicine. 
• Done giving her sponge baths. 
• Done telling her no pools and water play. 
• Done watching for site reactions. 
• Done with not being able to hug her and feel her back without tubing or tape.  
• Done ordering a myriad of medical supplies with strange names (Duo Derm, Coban, vial access adapter). 
• Done sewing pockets on all her clothes. 
• Done explaining to strangers that it is not a cell phone pocket and the tubing is not a tag I left on. 
• Done, done, done!

Okay....toddler tantrum over.

Samantha doesn’t remember a time without the pump. It is just part of her. She will ask for help when the pump falls out of the pocket. She invented a game where she bends really far over, makes the pump fall out, and then makes us chase her to put it in (we call it Turkey…don’t ask). She doesn’t know that she might be weaning off. She doesn’t know that I plan on buying every bath toy available when that day comes. She doesn’t know that other children don’t have to go through all this.

She has accepted her circumstance and has not let it get her down! She has perseverance!

I need to be like that.

“The end of a matter is better than its beginning,
    and patience is better than pride.” (Ecclesiastes 7:8)